Maybe it’s because it’s snowing in April after a two-week spell of beautiful weather, or maybe it’s just the changing of seasons in general, or maybe it’s that I know I probably don’t put enough effort into my appearance, but right now I am suffering from an affliction that strikes every woman, everywhere, at inopportune times. It’s called I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WEAR.
Symptoms include:
- Tearing apart your closet and debating whether to just throw everything you own away;
- Tearing apart your boyfriend’s closet in hopes that, maybe, just maybe, he has something to save you;
- Looking at every other girl on the street and wanting to beat her up for her pants, if only they’d fit, and there weren’t so many witnesses around;
- Having the urge to befriend girls with nice clothes just to borrow them, and then never speak to them again;
- And finally, wondering just how much your best friend is worth to you. Could you possibly borrow that cute, short purple dress that you tried on the last time you were at her apartment and then never answer the phone when she calls again? Just kidding, Liz!
There is one solution for this, and it’s shopping. However, it’s a dangerous kind of shopping. The buyer’s remorse kind of shopping.
It’s like bending over the toilet when you have the flu. It’s like kissing someone you don’t much like when you’re drunk. You know it’s only going to get worse. You’re going to do something that may feel good at the time, but lord knows, you’re going to regret it later.
And anyway, as if having the right shoes, or the perfectly-fitting pants, or all the cute short purple dresses in the world makes you a better person. As if it’ll fill any sort of hole you’re unable to fill yourself. Why do we (as women, I guess) want to do this? Fill our holes with the perfect job, the perfect man, the perfect pair of shoes?
Ugh. I’m getting in over my head on this one. I didn''t want to delve into the female psyche; all I really wanted to say in this entry was (prepare yourself for the inevitable 16-year-old-girl-blog-line) I am having such a goddamn ugly day.
Also, HEY YO BUCCOS 3-0 SWEEPING THE ASTROS!!!
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2 comments:
i have an idea--you can certainly raid my closet this weekend, saturday before your show if need be. I have plenty of cute and awesome stuff. as long as i can still borrow the sailor dress from you in return.:) see? problem solved. that's what friends are for.
Nikki
My wife has the same problem... even after a day full of shopping and shopping bags. The next mornings it's always "I don't have anything to wear." Ug.
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