Yeah.
As if I wasn’t a big enough weirdo before, now I get up and do things in my sleep.
The night before last, I fell asleep while Robbo was reading or something, and apparently he disturbed me, because he claims I sat straight up in bed and stared at him for a full ten seconds with what he described as “crazy eyes.”
I didn’t think much of it until I Wikipedia-ed “sleepwalking,” and got this:
“Contrary to popular belief, most cases of sleepwalking do not consist of walking around (without the conscious knowledge of the subject). Most cases of somnambulism occur when the person is awakened (something or someone disturbs their SWS [Slow Wave Sleep]), the person may sit up, look around and immediately go back to sleep. But these kinds of incidences are rarely noticed or reported unless recorded in a sleep clinic.”
Okay. Not a huge deal. But why was I Wikipedia-ing “sleepwalking” in the first place, you ask?
Well, I was looking into sleepwalking because last night, I apparently took something that was on the floor next to my side of the bed, carried it into the bathroom, placed it in the cabinet under the sink, and then did something vaguely disgusting (of which I’ll spare you the details) in the bathroom. And then I must have gone right back to bed, because I woke up there, safe and sound. I hope I didn’t do anything else. I mean, if I wake up and one of the cats has been completely shaved, I have no one to blame but myself.
What is happening to me? Why am I doing this? And if I’m going to get up and do stuff in my sleep, why couldn’t I get up and sleep-dance? Or sleep-play-bass-guitar? Or sleep-build-a-scale-model-of-the-Taj-Mahal-out-of-toothpicks? That would be amazing. That would be so much better than what I did in the bathroom.
I mean, I’m not super worried, because apparently this happens to a lot of people at one point in their lives or another (some studies say up to 16% of people report this kind of behavior.) Has this happened to any of you?
I guess the only thing that worries me is what I might do if it happens again. What if I poop in the litter box? What if I set fire to my Terrible Towel? What if I go outside onto our second story deck and just jump right off?
I mean, look at this guy. I don’t want to be this guy!
Oh my god. Look!
I’ve been sleep-drinking-cheap-vodka!
Oh. The cap was on the bottle. WHEW!
4 comments:
I don't think I've ever have but then again who knows with me. I def have sleep-talked. I used to do that in college all the time.
I totally want to know the disgusting thing. Not that I like disgusting things but just not knowing kills me.
And if you pooped in a litter box you would be a furry and then be forced to dress in cartoon-like furry costumes and have sex with other people dressed similar. And that is weird!
It's been 5 days. Something amusing must have happened to you. Post something so that I may chuckle.
Seriously kT, I'm in imminent danger of having to do some work while at work here, you need to come back to us cos i am running out of other things to do!
I'm not jokin, don't make me start sending you a constant stream of 'Baby Come Back' as covered by Pato Banton and UB40 in 1994. trust me. Nobody wants to see that kT, so get postin already!
PS
Do you think the threat of badly covered songs is an adequate power for a super villain, or should I be aiming higher?
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