Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

So, Robbo and I are planning a trip to Cape Hatteras, NC in August. This should be fun.

We decided that instead of driving all the way there the first night (about 10 hours or so), we'd stop off in Richmond, VA and stay in a cheap motel.

Now, I've seen a lot of horror movies. A LOT. Many of them take place in hotels and motels. Hi, Psycho? The Shining? Motel Hell, Mountaintop Motel Massacre and only in the last few months, Vacancy and Bug? People, think!! What does this tell you? It tells me that motels are scary, scary places where you will probably be disemboweled, and die.

So naturally, I had the feeling that we'd end up in some ratted out Southern motel room (cue the banjo.) Don't get me wrong. I am certainly not high maintenance. I don't need silk sheets and 5-star quality. Hell, I don't even need cleanliness, I just don't want to die. I don't think that's too much to ask of a place to sleep.

So let's look at a few reviews for the place we're staying (courtesy of expedia.com), shall we?


Wouldn’t recommend to anyone
This was the worst hotel I’ve ever stayed at by far. Rundown would be an upgrade. I was worried about the safety of our vehicle being parked outside.


Might as well sleep in a tent
Very dirty and therefore uncomfortable.


Disgusting
I put my bag in front of my door in case someone broke in, I might have a little extra time. There were cigarette butts covering the outdoor hallway, and I felt dirtier getting out of the shower than before getting in.


Deceiving
Toilet broken. No clock in room. Broken windows is some rooms, torn curtains in others. Garbage in parking lot. Strangers banging on the door at night. Actually somewhat frightening.


Hah.
Disembowelment--I mean, vacation, here we come!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi,
10 hour drive should be no problem. Leave at midnight, bust it all the way down, check in at your lodging at 10, hit the beach by 11, fall asleep by 11:20, lobster like sunburn by 3.
Good Luck!!!
Chuck
P.S. Love the Blog...keep it up. Gotta get to a Maxis gig someday.

JulieGong said...

I was looking into similar accommodation's for vacation. I didn't even know 1 star hotels existed before this.

Anonymous said...

Going to be driving to So Cal at the end of June, have done this several times and it works fine, (if you don't mind napping in the car),;
Can't find a suitable motel ? Find an expensive one, use the first floor ( public (more or less) potty), return to the car and bed down between two nice SUV's.
Don't make a scene, just make sleepy time. Nobody bothers you, your safe and it's free.
In the morning go inside get a free cup of coffee, use the potty and hit the road.

5 of 9er said...

Can't say I ever saw Mountaintop Motel Massacre... any good?