And I’m sorry about the lack of my “What I Do at Work” pictorial. I think my camera may have just hizzant the skizzant, or in other words, shit the bed.
But today, in honor of Chicago’s miserable Super Bowl loss, and in honor of their dismal running game, (after Lovie Smith was quoted as saying that the Bears game plan was to run the ball all over the Colts defense) I’m officially declaring today to be a day of honor for the late, great Bears running back, the Sweetness himself, Walter Payton.
Because it is Walter Payton Day, I’m going to share with you a little thing known as the "Walter Payton Drinking Game."
To play, you need:
* Two Iron City pounders per player (I suppose any beer would work, but why would you want to drink anything else?)
* A television
* A VCR
* A VHS copy of WWF’s Summerslam ’94. (What, not everyone owns that? Robbo told me they did, and that it wasn't weird that he owned it, at all. Apparently everyone also owns a VHS copy of Survivor Series 1994, but whatever.)
Rules of play:Cue up the tape to the point where Razor Ramon
is sitting in the locker room. Press play, and crack open your first pounder. Razor Ramon is about to announce (while oozing machismo) that in tonight’s intercontinental title match (in Chicago), he will be inexplicably be accompanied to the ring by “The Sweetness himself, Walter Payton.”
Drink.
Drink every time the words “Walter Payton” are uttered.
Okay. Fastforward through the Alundra Blaze/Bull Nakano match because seriously, who cares? There’s no mention of Walter Payton. Oops! I just said it. Drink!
Although I would like you to see a photo of Bull Nakano because, well….here.
Anyway. Next up is the Razor Ramon/Diesel match, but the details don't really matter because—who is that coming down the aisle? Why, it’s Walter Payton! Drink!
For the next, oh—15 to 20 minutes, the announcers will say “Walter Payton” (not “Walter,” not “Payton,” but each time, “Walter Payton”) in just about every sentence. Drink. Drink. Drink. Within 20 minutes, you’ve drunk two pounders, and you love Walter Payton. And that is why today, Walter “Sweetness” Payton is my HERO OF THE DAY!
2 comments:
Now while it is no where near as much fun we used to play "Center Stage Drinking Game of Fun" in college. If you don't know Center Stage is a movie about ballet dancers. Don't even try and say it is lame. We WILL fight. The game consisted of taking a drink everytime a main characters name was said. There are about 8 main characters. Its a fun way to ruin your liver very quickly.
There's the "Strange Brew" drinking game too.
Take a drink when either Bob or Doug Mackenzie say "eh" during the movie of the same name.
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