Well, not a whole lot of new things to report.
Liz’s holiday party was fantastic!
I think.
Apparently, I passed out at midnight. After vomiting. After drinking entirely too much. Apparently, I tried to absorb some of the alcohol in my stomach…with cheese. Which I am allergic to.
Apparently, the air mattress on which I was crashed out deflated itself and I slept on the hardwood floor. Apparently, I didn’t notice.
Despite being about to turn 23, I feel 19 all over again.
Read: pathetic.
Furthermore, Marley (see entry about homosexual, overweight cats) was eating out of a box of donuts this morning. Living in my house is totally weird.
Things at work are equally as weird, as I am clearly the "Dawn Wiener" of the office. Totally, miserably uncool. It’s really becoming junior high all over again for me.
Yeah. I know, right?
Thus, I’ve decided not to pull my “Festivus Miracle” cubicle decorating scheme. I figure, I’m unpopular enough as it is. However, I do plan to attend the office holiday cocktail party in two weeks.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe I can keep my streak of vomiting-and-passing-out-at-2006-holiday-parties alive. I mean, people at work would like me then, right? I think I read it in How to Win Friends and Influence People. The key is whiskey vomit. It gets them every time.
Ew. Sorry, I’m done. Have a good Tuesday, loves!
2 comments:
Oh so its whiskey vomit. I've tried tequila vomit, vodka vomit, jager vomit and beer vomit. I never thought to use whiskey. Thanks now I can win friends and influence people.
Weiner Sucks!
It's particularly efective if you choke whilst vomitting, thus blowing a few chunks through your nose. that's where all the cool kids is at.
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