This is Probably Inappropriate.

So sometimes when I can't think of anything to blog about, I’ll just tool around on MSN.com or CNN.com until I find some kind of weird, funny, stupid, oh-so-pathetically-American news to make fun of.

Today was not a good day for it.
T.O.’s broken finger? I don’t effing care.
The Pope making anti-Islamic comments? Don’t even get me started.
The spinach/E.Coli scare? Hitting too close to home (although I did eat a salad made of bagged spinach on Saturday, long after the story had broken, the whole time asking Robbo, “Does this look like E.Coli to you?” Because I'm smart like that. Savvy. You know it.)

So that leaves me with the baby kidnapping in rural Missouri. “Yikes,” I thought when I read the story this morning. “It’s gonna be hard to make this one funny.”
Because, for real, that sucks. Imagine being in your home, in the middle of nowhere, having someone knock on your door, slash your throat, and steal your 10-day old baby. Not funny. I hope they find this woman and I hope the kid is okay. Yeah. Anyway.

Bright side! What is funny is this: the description of the suspect (from CNN.com)

"The Amber Alert describes the woman being sought as white, between 30 and 40 years old, about 5 feet, 8 inches tall and weighing around 200 pounds. Her dark or black hair was pulled under a baseball cap with a worn bill, authorities said. She was wearing a gray or brown T-shirt and blue jean shorts. She appeared to have a female mustache."

Ouch.
As if it weren’t embarrassing enough to be that crazy bitch who stole some woman’s baby, now you’re that mustachioed crazy bitch who stole some woman’s baby.

Thankfully, they managed to capture said mustache in the composite sketch:




Yup. that's a mustache, all right.