An Open Letter

An open letter to downtown Pittsburgh workers:

You are not good at anything. This includes, but is not limited to, the following: walking while using a cell phone, walking while ingesting anything from coffee to food to cigarettes, not gridlocking traffic, not crossing the street in front of a wailing ambulance, not dressing like a goon, not smoking while pregnant, efficiently ordering a bagel, speaking properly, waiting patiently for the bus, and so on.

I am a humble girl. While I am good at all these things, I feel no need to laugh at you when you fail at them. That's just rude.

So when my heel gets caught in a piece of broken brick, and I tumble palms-first in the middle of Fourth Avenue, do me a favor and don't openly laugh at me. Because while the fall hurt my palms, your chuckles hurt my pride.

Sincerely yours,
Katie