Showing posts with label The Dead Mayor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Dead Mayor. Show all posts

Friday, September 15, 2006

Najeh What?

Or:
Things I am Excited About

I, for one, believe in football.

Moreover, I believe in the Pittsburgh style of football. The ground and pound, passing-less-than-half-the-time, this-is-not-Peyton-Manning style of football.
This is the football I like to see, and I hope yinz guys agree.

That’s why I am VERY excited about the addition of Najeh Davenport to the Steelers. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to address Najeh himself.


Dear Najeh:

How do you say your name, anyway? Naaww-jaaah? Naahh-Jeee? Naahh-jayyy? Eek! I’m dizzy.
Anyway! You are a good, solid, ‘big back!’ You are a power runner! You will save the legs of Willie Parker! You will run up the middle! You will be excellent in goal line and short yardage situations! You were for the Packers!

My only concern, Najeh, is that you will go the way of Duce Staley. Let us not forget that Duce was a great back for the Eagles, when he was not injured. You are injury-prone. Please, please don’t be Duce. Look where he is now. Look at him in his goofy sweat suit.



No one wants to wear the sweat suit, Najeh. We don’t want to see you in the sweat suit, Najeh. Please don’t put on the sweat suit, Najeh.

I have a good feeling about you. I had a good feeling about Willie Parker too, and look how that turned out. So make me proud, Najeh, and maybe one day I’ll be Photoshopping pictures of the dead mayor’s head onto your body.

Oh hell, who am I kidding?



Do it for Bob, Najeh!

Best wishes and all of my love,

kT

Friday, September 08, 2006

Bob O'Connor Fucking Rules.

Bob O’Connor. He’s dead. Death sucks. Cancer super sucks. Brain cancer is like 490563244 tons of big fat suck. But folks, the fact remains: he’s dead.

From today’s Post-Gazette:
“Before the casket lid closed for the last time at the funeral home, Corey O'Connor made sure his father carried his terry cloth with him to his final resting place.

‘He's going up to heaven with a Terrible Towel,’ the son said, amused at the thought of a deed-counting St. Peter escorting another Steelers fan in the cheering section no doubt located between the cherubim and seraphim.”


Alright, so dude was a Steelers fan. Awesome. But I think people are taking the funeral-and-season-opener-on-the-same-day thing the wrong way. This morning on DVE, one of the typically cynical DJs was all, “Bob O’Connor was smiling down from heaven on our Steelers last night.”

Christ! Dead people do not smile down from heaven on sports teams!


They play on them.


Last night, The Ghost of Bob O’Connor caught a 17 yard pass from Charlie Batch and took off downfield for an 87-yard touchdown, rushed for 115 yards on 29 carries, and even caused a fumble on defense.

Don’t believe me?? See below:










Hot damn! I wish The Ghost of Bob O’Connor was on my fantasy team!